So my plan to expand on some of the things I brought up was derailed by my lovely experience with the Art dept. I did want to come back and expand on some of those things now, here on the last day of class.
It was really interesting prepairing the packet which we will submit for grading in CS 345. It really forced me to sit down and think about exactly what we did as a team, what worked and what didn't. I hadn't given it a lot of deep consideration before. One of the things I realized was that for the majority of our time, we didn't really know what we were doing. Sure, we had a loose model for the way things were supposed to go, and we had an idea for the app we were trying to design, but we didn't follow those roles to the letter.
So much the better for us too, I think. Because this was the first semester long group project that most of us had worked on, we allowed a framework to help shape us, but didn't let it get in the way. I think adherence to a rigid structure would have really stifiled the vibrant personalities in the group and sapped our morale.
So what did I learn? That it's ok not to know what the hell I'm doing. I still don't know, to a certain degree, but I also know that I'll never know. Ugh, how convoluted.
I'm comfortable with the knowledge that I'll never be totally at home with programming and group work. How can I be? There are so many different ways to do something, so many ways to program something. There will always be great challenges, but the trick is to not get too nervous about it all.
There is no way to express properly how important learning this is to me. I've always let fear stifile me and halt my progress. Having made comfortable friends with fear and uncertainty this semester, I'm much more used to what they bring to the table.
Reading "Pragmatic Thinking and Learning" was also a great experience for me. It helped hit home some of the principles discussed above. It also gave great suggestions on how to cultivate ideas and how to be more comfortable with your brain. I have since started writing all of my ideas down, no matter how trivial. For a while, I was starting my day by writing 3 pages of...whatever in my journal. I didn't stick with that, unfortunately, but will be going back to it soon. It was really fascinating to see the stream of consciousness that flowed out of my hand on to those pages.
The book also re-ignited my desire to start meditating again. This is something that I was doing often last year and loved dearly, but somehow lost sight of. I always enjoyed the silence to my mind that the practice would bring, and have every intention to begin again (possibly dragging Parker along for the ride).
So there it is, I suppose. The bulk of what I got out of this semester. It was an eye opening experience and one that I hope is repeated in the semester to come.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Broken Pt. 2
Every story needs an end:
On the phone is the department chair. His gruff, distant voice gives the impression that he would rather be doing anything but this right now. In retrospect, he probably resented me for forcing him to the level of "assistant manager" at a retail store, but I don't really care. He asks me what he can do for me. In the most polite way possible, I relay my story. The mistreatment and disrespect. The goods that I need which have been made unavailable. My frustration at it all.
I could go into detail on the conversation, but I don't really think that's necessary. Basically, he handled the situation pretty well. He treated me with some concern, though there were moments where he could be pretty condesending. He told me that he couldn't loan me the material, but never really gave a good reason why. He only convinced me further that the Art Dept. is the most insular, uncaring department on campus, but at least he let me talk.
At the end of the talk, I felt better. Not great but better. I handed the phone back to the secretary, telling her "thank you," to which she replied: "You know we don't have the authority to make any changes to what you need right?" Flabbergasted, I looked straight into her eyes and replied, "Don't undo everything your department chair just did." She began to repeat herself, and I just turned around and walked away. I was furious for the rest of the day.
So what does all this mean? At its surface, it is a tale of Ball State University's woefully inadequate customer service skills. None of this would have ever happened if someone would have just told me exactly why I, a student at this University, was unable to get access to supplies owned by the institution. If I had been handled with dignity and respect, instead of some second rate student, I would have walked away and pursued other avenues. But it didn't happen. And we as a team have decided to file a complaint with HR. It probably won't do anything, but so it goes.
At it's core though...what's really happening here? This is a story about a school that can't get along with itself. A school that has no way for departments to interact with other departments for the betterment of its students. Why is that? It's insane to think that a student would be unable to utilize the resources other students have access to. I understand the need to secure supplies from the man off the street, but from other customers of the University? How does this help me along the path of immersive education? It doesn't. All it does is expose the rotten core of our education system. Maybe this situation is unique to Ball State, but I doubt it. And even if it is, BSU is where I am. It's where my money is going. I'm paying for a broken system.
On the phone is the department chair. His gruff, distant voice gives the impression that he would rather be doing anything but this right now. In retrospect, he probably resented me for forcing him to the level of "assistant manager" at a retail store, but I don't really care. He asks me what he can do for me. In the most polite way possible, I relay my story. The mistreatment and disrespect. The goods that I need which have been made unavailable. My frustration at it all.
I could go into detail on the conversation, but I don't really think that's necessary. Basically, he handled the situation pretty well. He treated me with some concern, though there were moments where he could be pretty condesending. He told me that he couldn't loan me the material, but never really gave a good reason why. He only convinced me further that the Art Dept. is the most insular, uncaring department on campus, but at least he let me talk.
At the end of the talk, I felt better. Not great but better. I handed the phone back to the secretary, telling her "thank you," to which she replied: "You know we don't have the authority to make any changes to what you need right?" Flabbergasted, I looked straight into her eyes and replied, "Don't undo everything your department chair just did." She began to repeat herself, and I just turned around and walked away. I was furious for the rest of the day.
So what does all this mean? At its surface, it is a tale of Ball State University's woefully inadequate customer service skills. None of this would have ever happened if someone would have just told me exactly why I, a student at this University, was unable to get access to supplies owned by the institution. If I had been handled with dignity and respect, instead of some second rate student, I would have walked away and pursued other avenues. But it didn't happen. And we as a team have decided to file a complaint with HR. It probably won't do anything, but so it goes.
At it's core though...what's really happening here? This is a story about a school that can't get along with itself. A school that has no way for departments to interact with other departments for the betterment of its students. Why is that? It's insane to think that a student would be unable to utilize the resources other students have access to. I understand the need to secure supplies from the man off the street, but from other customers of the University? How does this help me along the path of immersive education? It doesn't. All it does is expose the rotten core of our education system. Maybe this situation is unique to Ball State, but I doubt it. And even if it is, BSU is where I am. It's where my money is going. I'm paying for a broken system.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Broken
So I was going to take this opprotunity to expand on some of the issues and thoughts that were brought up in my previous post. Instead, I'll be talking about my hellish experience attempting to interact with different departments at my university.
We've hit the point in development where we can start testing to see if everything works. In order to do this, the team needs some photography equipment with which to get baseline numbers and results. Today I attempted to get my hands on this equipment. This is my story.
I went to the library. A good place to start really. They have cameras and if they didn't have what I needed, well, they specialize in information, so they could send me where I needed to go. Which is exactly what they did. After suggesting that I speak with the Art Department, I made my way to the AJ building, fourth floor. And here is where it all goes downhill.
I explain my need to the secretaries. Simple enough. I'm in need of a gray card and a light meter so that I can continue with my CS work. Immediately they begin telling me how their department won't loan to anyone who isn't an Art major. I had anticipated this. I mean it does make sense. They don't want their equipment getting broken by anyone off the street. On the other hand, don't wew all work for the same institution? An institution who's goal is to help students on their way to academic discovery and success? I eventually wrested a name and a room number of someone to whom I could speak.
Off to 232.
What I find is the most contemptable sad looking woman running the supply closet. I explain to her my need and the goal of my project. Her response? You're not an Art major so I would never loan to you. I ask why not? I am far beyond taking a simple no for an answer in my life. She accuses me of being hostile and tells me to go away. What the hell?
I return to the department's main office. I am visibly aggrivated, but attempting to not be rude. I explain exactly what transpired in room 232. Immediately they launch into a defense of the department's actions and underhandedly try to get me to leave. "Well the department chair is in a meeting right now and we don't know when he'll be back." Again, I don't take a simple no for an answer, and when it becomes obvious that I will not simply walk away one of the secretaries consents to "text" the chair.
I feel that is important to note that during this whole process, the woman from 232 had called up to the dept to warn them that I was coming. How do I know? When a phone rang, one of the secretaires answered and her whole demeaner changed. She wouldn't speak in specifics and at the end of the conversation assured the caller by saying " *name witheld* it's going to be alright." Do these people think I'm going to pull out a goddamned gun and kill them all?
So suddenly the phone rings.
And I have class. More in another post.
We've hit the point in development where we can start testing to see if everything works. In order to do this, the team needs some photography equipment with which to get baseline numbers and results. Today I attempted to get my hands on this equipment. This is my story.
I went to the library. A good place to start really. They have cameras and if they didn't have what I needed, well, they specialize in information, so they could send me where I needed to go. Which is exactly what they did. After suggesting that I speak with the Art Department, I made my way to the AJ building, fourth floor. And here is where it all goes downhill.
I explain my need to the secretaries. Simple enough. I'm in need of a gray card and a light meter so that I can continue with my CS work. Immediately they begin telling me how their department won't loan to anyone who isn't an Art major. I had anticipated this. I mean it does make sense. They don't want their equipment getting broken by anyone off the street. On the other hand, don't wew all work for the same institution? An institution who's goal is to help students on their way to academic discovery and success? I eventually wrested a name and a room number of someone to whom I could speak.
Off to 232.
What I find is the most contemptable sad looking woman running the supply closet. I explain to her my need and the goal of my project. Her response? You're not an Art major so I would never loan to you. I ask why not? I am far beyond taking a simple no for an answer in my life. She accuses me of being hostile and tells me to go away. What the hell?
I return to the department's main office. I am visibly aggrivated, but attempting to not be rude. I explain exactly what transpired in room 232. Immediately they launch into a defense of the department's actions and underhandedly try to get me to leave. "Well the department chair is in a meeting right now and we don't know when he'll be back." Again, I don't take a simple no for an answer, and when it becomes obvious that I will not simply walk away one of the secretaries consents to "text" the chair.
I feel that is important to note that during this whole process, the woman from 232 had called up to the dept to warn them that I was coming. How do I know? When a phone rang, one of the secretaires answered and her whole demeaner changed. She wouldn't speak in specifics and at the end of the conversation assured the caller by saying " *name witheld* it's going to be alright." Do these people think I'm going to pull out a goddamned gun and kill them all?
So suddenly the phone rings.
And I have class. More in another post.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Blurred Edges
We're coming to the end of our project. It's exciting, overwhelming and exhausting. As time has progressed through this semester, I've slowly lost, I guess, the fire. This is not to say that I'm not still excited about everything that I've learned and all that my team has accomplished, but my 5 classes and 20 hour a week work schedule is just really starting to take it's toll on me. It's difficult to leave the house and not get home until 10 hours later.
Also, girlfriends take a lot of time. :)
So where am I now and what have I learned?
I've learned how to deal with a group. In the past my group interactions have been minimal at best, and while I think I could have done more with Team Lightyear, I'm much more satisfied and confident with my level of contribution.
I've also come to the conclusion that, as much as I may complain about my day to day schedule, it beats the everloving hell out of having nothing at all to do. True, I feel spread too thin, but last years spring semester saw me never leaving the house. I wasn't working and only had classes on MWF. Tuesday and Thursday were awful days where I sat and stared at my computer, doing nothing. I need to be involved and, in a way, be forced to have things to do. While I'm still not to the point of self motivation that I would like to be, I am able to recognize what it takes to get me involved in my classes and work life and will take the steps I must to make sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing.
I also recognize more of what I could be doing in the future. I've always known that I have a very difficult time learning just by reading. Thanks to the structure of this class and to a few helpful books that I have read this semester, I have picked up some very helpful methods on how to invest myself in learning and how to get the most out of that investment.
So I suppose, in a way, I've negated everything I brought up in my first paragraph. I'm not tired of learning. I just need a break. But I also want more focus. My HCI class has been a great experience, and I'm taking another class (Game Programming) by that professor, not because I have any interest in game programming, but because Dr. Gestwicki is capable of eliciting something in my desire to learn. I hope it's a slightly more focused experience as HCI has been really overwhelming, but great nonetheless.
Also, girlfriends take a lot of time. :)
So where am I now and what have I learned?
I've learned how to deal with a group. In the past my group interactions have been minimal at best, and while I think I could have done more with Team Lightyear, I'm much more satisfied and confident with my level of contribution.
I've also come to the conclusion that, as much as I may complain about my day to day schedule, it beats the everloving hell out of having nothing at all to do. True, I feel spread too thin, but last years spring semester saw me never leaving the house. I wasn't working and only had classes on MWF. Tuesday and Thursday were awful days where I sat and stared at my computer, doing nothing. I need to be involved and, in a way, be forced to have things to do. While I'm still not to the point of self motivation that I would like to be, I am able to recognize what it takes to get me involved in my classes and work life and will take the steps I must to make sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing.
I also recognize more of what I could be doing in the future. I've always known that I have a very difficult time learning just by reading. Thanks to the structure of this class and to a few helpful books that I have read this semester, I have picked up some very helpful methods on how to invest myself in learning and how to get the most out of that investment.
So I suppose, in a way, I've negated everything I brought up in my first paragraph. I'm not tired of learning. I just need a break. But I also want more focus. My HCI class has been a great experience, and I'm taking another class (Game Programming) by that professor, not because I have any interest in game programming, but because Dr. Gestwicki is capable of eliciting something in my desire to learn. I hope it's a slightly more focused experience as HCI has been really overwhelming, but great nonetheless.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Energy Capture
Two days ago we had an English professor come to my HCI class and give a presentation on Rhetoric. Shortly put, it was a fantastic presentation. Sadly put: I wish someone had made a case for this kind of writing as a viable pursuit for a degree/career. Positively put: I need to find out how to incorporate the knowledge from this presentation into my focus for any future career in CS.
Longly put:
It was great to have someone in a CS class talking about all of those things I learned in every English class/Film Studies class but in a way that applied to my new degree path. The presentation dealt with using Rhetoric to anticipate what the audience of our software projects want/need. In other words, what will our end-users expect from our software applications, how with they expect them to look and how will the expect them to function.
I think that, of course, this is a concern for any software developer worth any grain of salt (even I thought of that!), but Rhetoric manages to give a name to it all. There are specific guidelines that I can follow, certain questions that I can ask myself about my intended audience that can help me anticipate their needs and wants.
It was hilarious to hear the term Gaze being discussed in a room full of mathematical and logical thinkers. Not to stereotype, but I know that a lot of them have never studied the connotations of that term, or have probably even heard of it.
This is the stuff that gets me excited about the world. The question is, how do I find a career path that lets me do this stuff professionally? I don't have the answer to that right now, but I'll be damn sure to talk to the people who do. I'm still having such a difficult time seeing what careers are out there besides coding at some company which, quite frankly, is never going to be one of my strengths. I can get better as I gain experience, but I just don't see myself being a contender for any top spots at any company simply based solely on my coding strengths. I've got to figure out a way to blend my CS knowledge with my strong analytical skills.
Longly put:
It was great to have someone in a CS class talking about all of those things I learned in every English class/Film Studies class but in a way that applied to my new degree path. The presentation dealt with using Rhetoric to anticipate what the audience of our software projects want/need. In other words, what will our end-users expect from our software applications, how with they expect them to look and how will the expect them to function.
I think that, of course, this is a concern for any software developer worth any grain of salt (even I thought of that!), but Rhetoric manages to give a name to it all. There are specific guidelines that I can follow, certain questions that I can ask myself about my intended audience that can help me anticipate their needs and wants.
It was hilarious to hear the term Gaze being discussed in a room full of mathematical and logical thinkers. Not to stereotype, but I know that a lot of them have never studied the connotations of that term, or have probably even heard of it.
This is the stuff that gets me excited about the world. The question is, how do I find a career path that lets me do this stuff professionally? I don't have the answer to that right now, but I'll be damn sure to talk to the people who do. I'm still having such a difficult time seeing what careers are out there besides coding at some company which, quite frankly, is never going to be one of my strengths. I can get better as I gain experience, but I just don't see myself being a contender for any top spots at any company simply based solely on my coding strengths. I've got to figure out a way to blend my CS knowledge with my strong analytical skills.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Alright Chums, Let's Do This...
Looking forward to getting back to school. I find that, as someone who is working on being more self propelled, long breaks can be a bit detrimental to my whole, well, process. It allows me to fall back into some classic rythms (staying up until 4 in the morning, playing video games, not going to the gym) which can be difficult to break out of. Now don't get me wrong. I wasn't a completely useless lump of flesh who never left the dimly lit dungeon that is my basement apartment. The lovely weather was well taken advantage of, and many walks were had. But...
I didn't get to do much that was in the way of constructive. But Meraud! It was a vacation you were on!
True.
But I wanted it to be more. More leisure time learning and reading. More fiddling around with coding in my spare time.
So yeah. It'll be good to get back to learning. To banging away at the Android project. To interacting with people much more learned than me. Even to driving the bus! There's only so much Batman: Arkham Asylum one can play before they feel a little bit dead inside.
This sure seems fru-fruey and personal. Maybe that's alright as I'm still attempting to figure out what exactly I want from this blog. So let's analyze this all and set some goals.
- Less games. Will be difficult with Metro 2033 coming out on Tuesday.
- More scholarly reading. Looking forward to it. Needed a break after finishing
Pragmatic Thinking and Learning. Had that break. Time to dive back in.
- More exercising. Easy with the work out partners back in town.
- Interact with beings of higher intelligence (or experience). Already have plans
speak with Dr. McNely about digital humanities.
Pressing Launch...
LEEEERRROOOOYY JEEEENNNNKKKKIIINNNNSSS
I didn't get to do much that was in the way of constructive. But Meraud! It was a vacation you were on!
True.
But I wanted it to be more. More leisure time learning and reading. More fiddling around with coding in my spare time.
So yeah. It'll be good to get back to learning. To banging away at the Android project. To interacting with people much more learned than me. Even to driving the bus! There's only so much Batman: Arkham Asylum one can play before they feel a little bit dead inside.
This sure seems fru-fruey and personal. Maybe that's alright as I'm still attempting to figure out what exactly I want from this blog. So let's analyze this all and set some goals.
- Less games. Will be difficult with Metro 2033 coming out on Tuesday.
- More scholarly reading. Looking forward to it. Needed a break after finishing
Pragmatic Thinking and Learning. Had that break. Time to dive back in.
- More exercising. Easy with the work out partners back in town.
- Interact with beings of higher intelligence (or experience). Already have plans
speak with Dr. McNely about digital humanities.
Pressing Launch...
LEEEERRROOOOYY JEEEENNNNKKKKIIINNNNSSS
Monday, March 8, 2010
Meet and Greet
So the team (minus Ron) was finally able to get together with our Community Partners from HP on Tuesday. It was a nerve wracking day for me. I was excited to meet with these guys (there were three) but I was also terrified of what would happen. They were investing a significant amount of their time to drive down from Kokomo to see our project, of which there was little to show. Frankly, I just didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do to make their trip worth while. I compiled some questions about project development and deployment so that we would have some stuff to talk about, but I was pretty worried...
About nothing.
It went really well. We actually ended up speaking very generally about the world of programming, and they answered my questions with enthusiasm and wisdom. God that makes them sound like sages. They're not. One of them really hates Indian people. I think.
One of the more interesting points of the meeting was in hearing about what their concerns were as programmers with real life jobs. Apparently, projects being outsourced to India is a serious problem. They all seemed extremely dissatisfied both with working with the people over there (sub par results) and with losing work to people overseas. One of the guys seemed, maybe a bit too dissatisfied, but whatever.
So yeah, they weren't mad that we didn't have an end result to show them. In fact, they weren't even interested in seeing the code we had produced. I got some excellent feedback on how to inject the WOW factor into our work and on how to market the app more effectively. It was a really great experience.
In the end, they were thanking us, which initially sounded very odd. Then they told us how, since no one new had been hired since 1996 (yay for future prospects!) they were ecstatic about being able to meet with and communicate with a younger generation. We've been invited to go to their labs to see what they do, and we'll probably take them up on the offer. But not until we have something to show them...I really want to show these guys what we've got.
About nothing.
It went really well. We actually ended up speaking very generally about the world of programming, and they answered my questions with enthusiasm and wisdom. God that makes them sound like sages. They're not. One of them really hates Indian people. I think.
One of the more interesting points of the meeting was in hearing about what their concerns were as programmers with real life jobs. Apparently, projects being outsourced to India is a serious problem. They all seemed extremely dissatisfied both with working with the people over there (sub par results) and with losing work to people overseas. One of the guys seemed, maybe a bit too dissatisfied, but whatever.
So yeah, they weren't mad that we didn't have an end result to show them. In fact, they weren't even interested in seeing the code we had produced. I got some excellent feedback on how to inject the WOW factor into our work and on how to market the app more effectively. It was a really great experience.
In the end, they were thanking us, which initially sounded very odd. Then they told us how, since no one new had been hired since 1996 (yay for future prospects!) they were ecstatic about being able to meet with and communicate with a younger generation. We've been invited to go to their labs to see what they do, and we'll probably take them up on the offer. But not until we have something to show them...I really want to show these guys what we've got.
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