Blurred Edges

We're coming to the end of our project. It's exciting, overwhelming and exhausting. As time has progressed through this semester, I've slowly lost, I guess, the fire. This is not to say that I'm not still excited about everything that I've learned and all that my team has accomplished, but my 5 classes and 20 hour a week work schedule is just really starting to take it's toll on me. It's difficult to leave the house and not get home until 10 hours later.

Also, girlfriends take a lot of time. :)

So where am I now and what have I learned?

I've learned how to deal with a group. In the past my group interactions have been minimal at best, and while I think I could have done more with Team Lightyear, I'm much more satisfied and confident with my level of contribution.

I've also come to the conclusion that, as much as I may complain about my day to day schedule, it beats the everloving hell out of having nothing at all to do. True, I feel spread too thin, but last years spring semester saw me never leaving the house. I wasn't working and only had classes on MWF. Tuesday and Thursday were awful days where I sat and stared at my computer, doing nothing. I need to be involved and, in a way, be forced to have things to do. While I'm still not to the point of self motivation that I would like to be, I am able to recognize what it takes to get me involved in my classes and work life and will take the steps I must to make sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing.

I also recognize more of what I could be doing in the future. I've always known that I have a very difficult time learning just by reading. Thanks to the structure of this class and to a few helpful books that I have read this semester, I have picked up some very helpful methods on how to invest myself in learning and how to get the most out of that investment.

So I suppose, in a way, I've negated everything I brought up in my first paragraph. I'm not tired of learning. I just need a break. But I also want more focus. My HCI class has been a great experience, and I'm taking another class (Game Programming) by that professor, not because I have any interest in game programming, but because Dr. Gestwicki is capable of eliciting something in my desire to learn. I hope it's a slightly more focused experience as HCI has been really overwhelming, but great nonetheless.