Broken Pt. 2

Every story needs an end:

On the phone is the department chair. His gruff, distant voice gives the impression that he would rather be doing anything but this right now. In retrospect, he probably resented me for forcing him to the level of "assistant manager" at a retail store, but I don't really care. He asks me what he can do for me. In the most polite way possible, I relay my story. The mistreatment and disrespect. The goods that I need which have been made unavailable. My frustration at it all.

I could go into detail on the conversation, but I don't really think that's necessary. Basically, he handled the situation pretty well. He treated me with some concern, though there were moments where he could be pretty condesending. He told me that he couldn't loan me the material, but never really gave a good reason why. He only convinced me further that the Art Dept. is the most insular, uncaring department on campus, but at least he let me talk.

At the end of the talk, I felt better. Not great but better. I handed the phone back to the secretary, telling her "thank you," to which she replied: "You know we don't have the authority to make any changes to what you need right?" Flabbergasted, I looked straight into her eyes and replied, "Don't undo everything your department chair just did." She began to repeat herself, and I just turned around and walked away. I was furious for the rest of the day.

So what does all this mean? At its surface, it is a tale of Ball State University's woefully inadequate customer service skills. None of this would have ever happened if someone would have just told me exactly why I, a student at this University, was unable to get access to supplies owned by the institution. If I had been handled with dignity and respect, instead of some second rate student, I would have walked away and pursued other avenues. But it didn't happen. And we as a team have decided to file a complaint with HR. It probably won't do anything, but so it goes.

At it's core though...what's really happening here? This is a story about a school that can't get along with itself. A school that has no way for departments to interact with other departments for the betterment of its students. Why is that? It's insane to think that a student would be unable to utilize the resources other students have access to. I understand the need to secure supplies from the man off the street, but from other customers of the University? How does this help me along the path of immersive education? It doesn't. All it does is expose the rotten core of our education system. Maybe this situation is unique to Ball State, but I doubt it. And even if it is, BSU is where I am. It's where my money is going. I'm paying for a broken system.

Broken

So I was going to take this opprotunity to expand on some of the issues and thoughts that were brought up in my previous post. Instead, I'll be talking about my hellish experience attempting to interact with different departments at my university.

We've hit the point in development where we can start testing to see if everything works. In order to do this, the team needs some photography equipment with which to get baseline numbers and results. Today I attempted to get my hands on this equipment. This is my story.

I went to the library. A good place to start really. They have cameras and if they didn't have what I needed, well, they specialize in information, so they could send me where I needed to go. Which is exactly what they did. After suggesting that I speak with the Art Department, I made my way to the AJ building, fourth floor. And here is where it all goes downhill.

I explain my need to the secretaries. Simple enough. I'm in need of a gray card and a light meter so that I can continue with my CS work. Immediately they begin telling me how their department won't loan to anyone who isn't an Art major. I had anticipated this. I mean it does make sense. They don't want their equipment getting broken by anyone off the street. On the other hand, don't wew all work for the same institution? An institution who's goal is to help students on their way to academic discovery and success? I eventually wrested a name and a room number of someone to whom I could speak.

Off to 232.

What I find is the most contemptable sad looking woman running the supply closet. I explain to her my need and the goal of my project. Her response? You're not an Art major so I would never loan to you. I ask why not? I am far beyond taking a simple no for an answer in my life. She accuses me of being hostile and tells me to go away. What the hell?

I return to the department's main office. I am visibly aggrivated, but attempting to not be rude. I explain exactly what transpired in room 232. Immediately they launch into a defense of the department's actions and underhandedly try to get me to leave. "Well the department chair is in a meeting right now and we don't know when he'll be back." Again, I don't take a simple no for an answer, and when it becomes obvious that I will not simply walk away one of the secretaries consents to "text" the chair.

I feel that is important to note that during this whole process, the woman from 232 had called up to the dept to warn them that I was coming. How do I know? When a phone rang, one of the secretaires answered and her whole demeaner changed. She wouldn't speak in specifics and at the end of the conversation assured the caller by saying " *name witheld* it's going to be alright." Do these people think I'm going to pull out a goddamned gun and kill them all?

So suddenly the phone rings.

And I have class. More in another post.

Blurred Edges

We're coming to the end of our project. It's exciting, overwhelming and exhausting. As time has progressed through this semester, I've slowly lost, I guess, the fire. This is not to say that I'm not still excited about everything that I've learned and all that my team has accomplished, but my 5 classes and 20 hour a week work schedule is just really starting to take it's toll on me. It's difficult to leave the house and not get home until 10 hours later.

Also, girlfriends take a lot of time. :)

So where am I now and what have I learned?

I've learned how to deal with a group. In the past my group interactions have been minimal at best, and while I think I could have done more with Team Lightyear, I'm much more satisfied and confident with my level of contribution.

I've also come to the conclusion that, as much as I may complain about my day to day schedule, it beats the everloving hell out of having nothing at all to do. True, I feel spread too thin, but last years spring semester saw me never leaving the house. I wasn't working and only had classes on MWF. Tuesday and Thursday were awful days where I sat and stared at my computer, doing nothing. I need to be involved and, in a way, be forced to have things to do. While I'm still not to the point of self motivation that I would like to be, I am able to recognize what it takes to get me involved in my classes and work life and will take the steps I must to make sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing.

I also recognize more of what I could be doing in the future. I've always known that I have a very difficult time learning just by reading. Thanks to the structure of this class and to a few helpful books that I have read this semester, I have picked up some very helpful methods on how to invest myself in learning and how to get the most out of that investment.

So I suppose, in a way, I've negated everything I brought up in my first paragraph. I'm not tired of learning. I just need a break. But I also want more focus. My HCI class has been a great experience, and I'm taking another class (Game Programming) by that professor, not because I have any interest in game programming, but because Dr. Gestwicki is capable of eliciting something in my desire to learn. I hope it's a slightly more focused experience as HCI has been really overwhelming, but great nonetheless.